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I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.

Finley Peter Dunne

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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Bill
Bills
Doctors
Wonder
Read
Always
Prescription
Never
Prescriptions
Doctor

More quotes by Finley Peter Dunne

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Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.
Finley Peter Dunne
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High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.
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An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
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When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
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It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
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Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.
Finley Peter Dunne
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To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.
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If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.
Finley Peter Dunne
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The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.
Finley Peter Dunne
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No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
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A man's idee in a card game is war
Finley Peter Dunne
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It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.
Finley Peter Dunne
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A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
Finley Peter Dunne
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The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.
Finley Peter Dunne
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If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Finley Peter Dunne