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I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
Journalist
Screenwriter
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Chicago
Illinois
Read
Always
Prescription
Prescriptions
Never
Doctor
Bill
Bills
Doctors
Wonder
More quotes by Finley Peter Dunne
Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
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Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
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It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
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Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.
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Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
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You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.
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A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
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If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.
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There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.
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When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
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Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
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If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
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A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.
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A man's idee in a card game is war
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Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.
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A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
Finley Peter Dunne
The past always looks better than it was it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
Finley Peter Dunne
Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
Finley Peter Dunne
It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.
Finley Peter Dunne
A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
Finley Peter Dunne