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I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.

Finley Peter Dunne

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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Read
Always
Prescription
Prescriptions
Never
Doctor
Bill
Bills
Doctors
Wonder

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Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
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The past always looks better than it was it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
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One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
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A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
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Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
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Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
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Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.
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A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
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When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
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When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
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An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
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If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
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Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
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The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.
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Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.
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A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
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High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
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What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.
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Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it
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Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
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