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The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
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Chicago
Illinois
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More quotes by Finley Peter Dunne
When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
Finley Peter Dunne
You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.
Finley Peter Dunne
Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.
Finley Peter Dunne
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
Finley Peter Dunne
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Finley Peter Dunne
If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
Finley Peter Dunne
Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
Finley Peter Dunne
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Finley Peter Dunne
Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
Finley Peter Dunne
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
Finley Peter Dunne
What's wan man's news is another man's throubles.
Finley Peter Dunne
Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
Finley Peter Dunne
When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
Finley Peter Dunne
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
Finley Peter Dunne
One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
Finley Peter Dunne
It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
Finley Peter Dunne
If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.
Finley Peter Dunne
It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.
Finley Peter Dunne
A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.
Finley Peter Dunne
Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.
Finley Peter Dunne
