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Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.

Finley Peter Dunne

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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Vegetarians
Cannibal
Vegetarian
Looked
Food
Ever
Enough
Classed
Like
Cannibals

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Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.
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A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
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A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
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A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
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One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
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I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.
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A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.
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When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
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Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.
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Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
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Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.
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Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
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The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.
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To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.
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Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.
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When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
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It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
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No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
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What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.
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I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
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