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One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

Finley Peter Dunne

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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Things
Strangest
Never
Poverty
Life
Ones
Poor
Funny
Money
Need
Needs

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Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.
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A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
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A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
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If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
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Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
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A man's idee in a card game is war
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What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.
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If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.
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Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.
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I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.
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Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
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The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
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It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
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When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
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Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.
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There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.
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A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
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Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.
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High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
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Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
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