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One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

Finley Peter Dunne

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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
Author
Journalist
Screenwriter
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Things
Strangest
Never
Poverty
Life
Ones
Poor
Funny
Money
Need
Needs

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An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
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A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
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Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
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If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
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Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.
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Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
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A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
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I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
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When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
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A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.
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A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.
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You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.
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It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
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Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.
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That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.
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The past always looks better than it was it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
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No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
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If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.
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The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.
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What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.
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