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A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
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Journalist
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Chicago
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Lord
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More quotes by Finley Peter Dunne
A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
Finley Peter Dunne
It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
Finley Peter Dunne
High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
Finley Peter Dunne
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Finley Peter Dunne
To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.
Finley Peter Dunne
That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.
Finley Peter Dunne
Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
Finley Peter Dunne
When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
Finley Peter Dunne
When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
Finley Peter Dunne
I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
Finley Peter Dunne
If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
Finley Peter Dunne
A man's idee in a card game is war
Finley Peter Dunne
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
Finley Peter Dunne
Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it
Finley Peter Dunne
The past always looks better than it was it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
Finley Peter Dunne
Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
Finley Peter Dunne
No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
Finley Peter Dunne
Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
Finley Peter Dunne
I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.
Finley Peter Dunne
Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.
Finley Peter Dunne
