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A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
Finley Peter Dunne
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Finley Peter Dunne
Age: 68 †
Born: 1867
Born: July 10
Died: 1936
Died: April 24
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Chicago
Illinois
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More quotes by Finley Peter Dunne
Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
Finley Peter Dunne
No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
Finley Peter Dunne
If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.
Finley Peter Dunne
It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
Finley Peter Dunne
Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.
Finley Peter Dunne
There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.
Finley Peter Dunne
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
Finley Peter Dunne
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Finley Peter Dunne
The past always looks better than it was it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
Finley Peter Dunne
A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
Finley Peter Dunne
High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
Finley Peter Dunne
Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.
Finley Peter Dunne
Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
Finley Peter Dunne
When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win ... an' th' best man will win.
Finley Peter Dunne
Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
Finley Peter Dunne
I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
Finley Peter Dunne
Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.
Finley Peter Dunne
I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.
Finley Peter Dunne
Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it
Finley Peter Dunne
Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.
Finley Peter Dunne
