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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Facts
Stories
Best
Way
Good
Sticking
Spoil
Story

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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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All work and no pay makes a housewife.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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