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Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Walk
Walks
Didn
Never
Would
People
Cars
Car
Exercise

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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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