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Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Walk
Walks
Didn
Never
Would
People
Cars
Car
Exercise

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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g others, because they understand each other too well.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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