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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Ever
Would
Men
Like
Meets
Homosexual
Marry
Woman

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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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