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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Woman
Ever
Would
Men
Like
Meets
Homosexual
Marry

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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity a black eye, too much.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
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