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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Hard
Work
Never
Hired
Hurt
Anyone
Else
Someone

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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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All work and no pay makes a housewife.
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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity a black eye, too much.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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