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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Stories
Best
Long
Way
Make
Short
Listening
Stop
Story

More quotes by Evan Esar

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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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