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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Long
Way
Make
Short
Listening
Stop
Story
Stories
Best

More quotes by Evan Esar

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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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