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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Laziness
Lazy
Claims
Heavy
Light
Work
Men

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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
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The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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