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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
Evan Esar
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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Firsts
First
Defy
Adam
Unions
Management
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
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Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
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