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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Sound
Makes
Someone
Something
Expert
Confusing
Experts
Already
Takes

More quotes by Evan Esar

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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
Evan Esar
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
Evan Esar
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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
Evan Esar
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
Evan Esar
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
Evan Esar
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If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.
Evan Esar
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
Evan Esar
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery nowadays it is called moonlighting.
Evan Esar
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
Evan Esar
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
Evan Esar
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Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.
Evan Esar
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
Evan Esar
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
Evan Esar
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
Evan Esar
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
Evan Esar
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
Evan Esar
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
Evan Esar