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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Stop
Making
Make
Apologies
Like
Excuses
Apology
Promises
Excuse
Promise

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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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