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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Cemetery
Equality
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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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