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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Cemetery
Equality
Place
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More quotes by Evan Esar

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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
Evan Esar