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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Cemetery
Equality
Place
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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