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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Otherwise
Created
Equal
Endowed
Become
Urge
Men
Mighty
Urges
Equality
Creator

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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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