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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Equal
Endowed
Become
Urge
Men
Mighty
Urges
Equality
Creator
Otherwise
Created

More quotes by Evan Esar

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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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