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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Mark
Watches
Watch
Make
World
Erasers
Envious
Envy

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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g others, because they understand each other too well.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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