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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Make
World
Erasers
Envious
Envy
Mark
Watches
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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