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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
World
Erasers
Envious
Envy
Mark
Watches
Watch
Make

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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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