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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
World
Erasers
Envious
Envy
Mark
Watches
Watch
Make

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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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