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If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Nowadays
Normal
Differences
Different

More quotes by Evan Esar

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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
Evan Esar
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
Evan Esar
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
Evan Esar
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
Evan Esar
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
Evan Esar
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
Evan Esar
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
Evan Esar
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
Evan Esar
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
Evan Esar
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
Evan Esar
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
Evan Esar
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
Evan Esar
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The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
Evan Esar
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
Evan Esar
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
Evan Esar
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
Evan Esar
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
Evan Esar
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
Evan Esar
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Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
Evan Esar
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
Evan Esar