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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Dress
Dresses
Doctors
Office
Start
Offices
Shops
Diets

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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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Corrupt officials are usually close-mouthed and open-handed.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
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A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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