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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Show
Shows
Women
Great
Width
Lengths
Diets
Length

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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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