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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Shows
Women
Great
Width
Lengths
Diets
Length
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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