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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
Evan Esar
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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Debt
Worry
Others
Even
People
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.
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A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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