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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Bath
Take
Baths
Custom
Customs
Daily
Religion
Times
Weekly
Change

More quotes by Evan Esar

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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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All work and no pay makes a housewife.
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It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
Evan Esar
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Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
Evan Esar
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
Evan Esar
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
Evan Esar
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
Evan Esar
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
Evan Esar
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
Evan Esar
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
Evan Esar
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
Evan Esar
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
Evan Esar