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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Credit
Family
Wears
Nowadays
Carries
Carrie
Pants
Cards

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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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