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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Cards
Credit
Family
Wears
Nowadays
Carries
Carrie
Pants

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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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