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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Nowadays
Carries
Carrie
Pants
Cards
Credit
Family
Wears

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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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