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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Cards
Credit
Family
Wears
Nowadays
Carries
Carrie
Pants

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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity a black eye, too much.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g others, because they understand each other too well.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.
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Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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