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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
People
Congress
Knew
Give
Wanted
Giving
Would

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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity a black eye, too much.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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