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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Varieties
Stupidity
Variety
Thousand
Common
Sense
Kind

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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity a black eye, too much.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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