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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
Evan Esar
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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Wife
Morning
Firsts
First
Good
Requisite
Cups
Coffee
Bed
More quotes by Evan Esar
Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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