Quote

The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.

Evan Esar

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Good
Requisite
Cups
Coffee
Bed
Wife
Morning
Firsts
First

More quotes by Evan Esar

Image
Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
Evan Esar
Image
[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
Evan Esar
Image
Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
Evan Esar
Image
It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses -- if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others.
Evan Esar
Image
Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
Evan Esar
Image
All work and no pay makes a housewife.
Evan Esar
Image
A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
Evan Esar
Image
A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
Evan Esar
Image
Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
Evan Esar
Image
A home in the country is what a city man hopes to buy and a farmer hopes to sell.
Evan Esar
Image
Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
Evan Esar
Image
Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
Evan Esar
Image
Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
Evan Esar
Image
Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
Evan Esar
Image
After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
Evan Esar
Image
There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
Evan Esar
Image
The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
Evan Esar
Image
The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
Evan Esar
Image
Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
Evan Esar
Image
Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
Evan Esar