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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
Evan Esar
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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Coffee
Bed
Wife
Morning
Firsts
First
Good
Requisite
Cups
More quotes by Evan Esar
It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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A bureaucrat is an official who is clothed with power and whom it doesn't fit.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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Do a little more every day than you are expected to do, and soon you will be expected to do more.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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An instrument that sometimes expresses thought, sometimes obscures thought, but most often replaces thought.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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