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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Apples
Picks
Wife
Way
Men
Farmer
Apple
Farmers

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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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In elections, the undecided vote is usually the deciding factor.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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