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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Apples
Picks
Wife
Way
Men
Farmer
Apple
Farmers

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The only time a lazy man ever succeeds is when he tries to do nothing.
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To a teenager, it cannot be true love if her family approves of him.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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Egotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Nowadays it's not who wears the pants in the family, but who carries the credit cards.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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