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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Picks
Wife
Way
Men
Farmer
Apple
Farmers
Apples

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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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A lazy man's wife is generally the power behind the drone.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g others, because they understand each other too well.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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Formerly when a man worked ten hours a day, it was called economic slavery nowadays it is called moonlighting.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
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The best way to make a long story short is to stop listening.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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All work and no pay makes a housewife.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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