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If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Successful
Chance
Take
Must
Either

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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery--amputation at the neck.
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A good loser is all right, but it isn't so much fun to beat him.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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Many a girl who can't dance well makes up for it during intermission.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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