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If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Either
Successful
Chance
Take
Must

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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity a black eye, too much.
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The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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There are two kinds of leaders: those who are interested in the flock, and those who are interested in the fleece.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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