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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Next
Baldness
Bald
Attract
Tear
Harder
Tears
Hair
Woman

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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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After wisdom comes wit.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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A wedding is the formality a man has to go through before going to work for a new boss.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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The only thing worse than being on the wrong side of an argument is to be on the right side with no one listening.
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