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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Harder
Tears
Hair
Woman
Next
Baldness
Bald
Attract
Tear

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The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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A bright eye indicates curiosity a black eye, too much.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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Some people worry because they are in debt others, because they can't even get in.
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More diets start in dress shops than in doctors' offices.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.
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Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
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A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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