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An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Infinite
Capacity
Actor
Taking
Actors
Men
Praise

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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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The most uncommon form of intelligence is common sense.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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The lazy man claims he is too heavy for light work and too light for heavy work.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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An expert is someone who takes something you already know and makes it sound confusing.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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A dictator's chief problem is keeping the stomachs of his subjects full while keeping their heads empty.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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