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You can't judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.
Evan Esar
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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Giving
Doctor
Judge
Doctors
Praise
Judging
Amount
Ability
Undertakers
Give
Undertaker
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The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
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If it required some effort to go from today to tomorrow, some people would always remain in yesterday.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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Some people would never get any exercise at all if they didn't have to walk to their cars.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.
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Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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Many a husband lives to regret the extravagant fee he bestowed upon the minister who sentenced him.
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All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.
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