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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Close
Pay
Taxpayers
Stop
Nose
Eyes
Noses
Eye
Shut
Mouths
Ears
Taxes

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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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If you want to be different nowadays, just act normal.
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Laugh and the world laughs with you cry -- and the world laughs harder.
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Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
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A corporation has all the powers and privileges of an individual: all it lacks is a conscience.
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The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
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Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.
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Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
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A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
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Charm is to a woman what perfume is to a flower.
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Diets show to what great lengths women will go so as not to go to great widths.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
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Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g others, because they understand each other too well.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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The modern dance is no dance in the first place, and when you've finally learned it, it's not modern any more.
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All men are born equal, but some of them outgrow it.
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