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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Prove
Technology
Science
Everything
Usefulness
Statistics
Except

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All work and no pay makes a housewife.
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The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
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Don't tear your hair out over a woman it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald.
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Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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If you want to know how little your dignity is worth, take it to the pawnbroker.
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All things come to him who waits, but they are mostly leftovers from those who didn't wait.
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An epigram is the marriage of wit and wisdom a wisecrack, their divorce.
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Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.
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The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.
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Communism is a form of society where the less people have to eat, the more they have to swallow.
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Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
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The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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The lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.
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All men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with a mighty urge to become otherwise.
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The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
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