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[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.

Evan Esar

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Evan Esar
Age: 95 †
Born: 1899
Born: January 1
Died: 1995
Died: January 1
American Humorist
Humorist
Statistics
Except
Prove
Technology
Science
Everything
Usefulness

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An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.
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The quizzical expression of the monkey at the zoo comes from his wondering whether he is his brother's keeper, or his keeper's brother.
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Conceit is a disease That the doctors got no cure They've done a lot of research on it But what it is, they're still not sure.
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If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
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Etymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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A girl never cares who casts the first stone at her -- as long as it's a diamond
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Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.
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Under dictatorship, the people in prison are always superior to the people who put them there.
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A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
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There's only one kind of common sense but a thousand varieties of stupidity.
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When you make your mark in the world, watch out for the envious with erasers.
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The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter.
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A credit card is a convenient device that saves you the trouble of counting your change.
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Man is the control experiment of heredity and environment and since his heredity controls him, he tries to control his environment.
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After paying for the wedding, about the only thing a father has left to give away is the bride.
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A cynic sees little to admire in the world, while the world sees even less to admire in him.
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Times change: it was once the custom to take a bath weekly and religion daily.
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Hard work never hurt anyone who hired someone else to do it.
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